


The Chaos of You

by Rav3nB1ack



Category: Sicario (2015), Sicario: Day of the Soldado
Genre: Dark, F/M, Kidnapping, Torture, Violence, Waterboarding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-07 20:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15227361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rav3nB1ack/pseuds/Rav3nB1ack
Summary: When Kate wakes up tied to a chair in a dark room, she questions her reason for being there. But little does she know is that her captors wear familiar faces - too familiar.





	1. Chapter 1

Darkness. Kate had become familiar to its looming presence ever since New Juarez. Her apartment was full of it. Shadows danced on the walls, phantoms of those that were killed in the operation haunted her sleep, sometimes if she peered closely into its bleak eyes she could see Alejandro still pointing the gun at her from her kitchen table. But this darkness was artificial, it was created for a purpose and that made her uneasy. **  
**

She couldn’t remember how she got here but the throbbing pain in her forehead told her that she was either drunk (which had become an normality of her life for a couple of months now) or she’d been attacked - God she hoped it was the latter. Returning to the her job after New Juarez, ignoring Alejandro’s advise, she had been evaluated by the company’s psychologist and deemed unfit for duty. So being the unstable, hot-headed woman that she was, she went to fight crime on her own - well her deluded version of it. Whether it was picking fights with the local gangs or stealing from the rich to give to the poor, she’d do anything to stop herself from staying at home and that was the one place she hated to be because it reeked of fear and regret and if she was going to be a vigilante, that was the one thing she didn’t need in the morning.

Of course, her antics weren’t gone unpunished. A lot of times she was arrested but luckily for her, Reggie was still an officer and bailed her out on many occasions - though soon his patience wore thin and he managed to get her a job as a receptionist at the local police station, which was a good distraction until her shift ended. But how she managed to end up here was still a mystery.

As she came to, she realised that she was sitting in a chair, her hands tied behind her back, the metal frame cold against her exposed arms. Her eyes bulged at the comprehension of her situation. She’d been kidnapped, at least that was the only logical explanation for her situation. Reggie’s warning came to her as he began to panic,  _‘if you keep searching for trouble, trouble will find you.’_  Looks like he was right, trouble did find her and there was no way that she was escaping this time.

Suddenly, a bright light above her gleamed to life, casting a white pillar around her as well as illuminating her surroundings a bit. Her eyes narrowed at its brightness as she tried to adjust herself to the brighter setting.

 “Well it’s about time!” she heard a voice shout, relieved. “My damn butt hurts sitting on that table all morning waiting for you to wake up.”

Somehow the voice sounded familiar to Kate despite not knowing where she was. Then her eyes caught the sandals on his feet as he stepped into the pillar of light and immediately, she knew who it belonged to.

 “Hey there, Kate.” His teeth glistening as his mouth curled into a wide smile.

 “What the fuck am I doing here, Matt?” Kate bellowed.

 “You look so cute when you’re angry.”

 “Fuck you, Matt!”

A smug smirk appeared on his face. “Oh I do, everyday.”

Kate glowered at him, her seething hatred apparent through her eyes but it didn’t change Matt’s complacent attitude, in fact it seemed to encourage it.

 “Why am I here?” Kate asked, gritting her teeth

 “Because you’ve been a naughty girl,  _Katie_.”

Kate eyes narrowed in confusion at his vague explanation. “What?”

Matt’s lips thinned as he circled around her, his footsteps purposely heavy as he walked.

 “You’ve told your bosses about our little venture in New Juarez, despite us warning you not to.”

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kate said innocently, confused as to where his accusation had come from. “I haven’t said anything!”

When Matt reappeared in front of her, he crouched before her, the sound of his gum grinding loudly against his teeth unpleasant against her ear. “You were drunk and you told them about what we did, just admit it.”

Kate leaned forward in her seat, her eyes locking with his. “I haven’t said anything to anyone.” Each word was prolonged as if to stress her innocence but it didn’t seem to change Matt’s stony gaze, which frightened her considering that he was always apathetic towards life.

 “The quicker you admit it, the easier this will be.”

 “I’m telling the truth, Matt! Please! You have to believe me!”

An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he heaved himself up. “I didn’t want to do this,” he said with his hands raised, as if to say that what comes next she brought upon herself.

Kate’s body began to tremble as the door opened, ushering in a foreign light into the bleak room, though the person that entered was not of its pure existence. No. He was of the darkness, forged by its cold hand. His eyes looked upon her with a paleness that made her shiver and she knew that those eyes had seen death, their hands had evoked it and more importantly, he was here to deal it.

 “Alejandro,” she uttered softly, her voice like a whisper in the wind. But his lips stayed sealed as his eyes stare at her impassively, his hand clenching a large jug of water and a towel in the other. A sudden feeling of trepidation started to overwhelm her as he stepped closer. “Alejandro, no! No, please don’t! Alejandro-”

Her pleas were stopped when he threw the towel to one of the guards behind her, who covered her mouth with it whilst he proceeded to pour the water over her face. Kate squirmed helplessly in her chair, but nothing would stop the pain. She tried to shut her mouth but the towel was clasped over her with her lips agape, and the strength of the man behind her was impossible to fight against with her hands tied behind her waist. It hurt so much, she just wanted it to stop but no one would listen to her pleas. Looking at Alejandro she noticed that his eyes were shut, as if he was ashamed to look at what he was doing, at the pain he was causing. She hated him for it.

Soon the shock of the torture was becoming to much for her to bare and she felt herself fading away, her eyes slowly shutting as her lifeforce drifted from her. Noticing Kate’s declining health, Alejandro immediately stopped, though he did nothing else to ease her suffering, perhaps because he knew that there was nothing he could do now, she was going somewhere better than this hell-hole. She was going home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this heaven?” she muttered to herself.
> 
> “Depends.”

_If you keep looking for trouble, then trouble will find you._

 

Reggie’s warning echoed in Kate’s mind as she woke up to a gleaming bright light that hung above her, she groaned with displeasure as it blinded her vision but as she got used to it she began to survey her surroundings.

 

She was in a white room, which was off-putting concerning the familiarity and somewhat solace that the darkness had brought her after New Juarez. But its abnormal appearance made her somewhat hopeful that maybe her crimes against the world could be forgiven, that maybe somewhere inside her, the will and determination to carry out justice burned as bright as it did when she first put on her uniform.

 

 “Is this heaven?” she muttered to herself.

 

 “Depends.”

 

Kate’s eyes darted to the corner of the room, where the man with the gravelly voice stood. Opposed to Kate, he was dressed in a black suit whereas she was clothed in a white gown, the hem just brushing against the clear, white floor. His head hung low but his eyes peered through his eyelashes, his gaze dark and menacing.

 

 “Alejandro.” She called his name coldly. Despite being here, wherever here was, she still remembered the torture and pain induced by his hand. “What are you doing here?”

 

 “Waking you up,” Alejandro explained as he approached her, his hand reaching for the gun strapped to his belt.

 

Kate raised her hands in surrender at his malicious gesture. “No, no, no! Alejandro, dont!”

 

* * *

 

 

Kate jerked forward as she gasped for air, the sound of a heart rate monitor beeping rapidly as the wavelengths on the screen spiked. As she forced herself to relax, her eyes navigated her surroundings. The walls were pale blue and the air reeked of alcohol and a somewhat airborne sickness that she could taste on the tip of her tongue. She screwed her face as she held her breath. _Fuck sake!_ She was in a hospital, the one place she didn’t want to be. Death felt so welcoming, she was sure that he would embrace her with open arms but God denied her that peace. He must want her to suffer, to live everyday clinging to regret.

 

Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply - she was just hanging in the limbo waiting to be revived, but for what purpose? Opening her eyes, she caught a man sitting next to the door, slouched in his chair. Her sudden groan as she pushed herself up against the head of the bed caused him to divert his attention from the window to her. She recognise his dark eyes though this time they held serenity as if by seeing her awake she’d managed to comfort him somehow. But she was in no mood to sympathise, he was the reason why she was in this bed.

 

So she glared at him, her eyes boring into his soul as if just by looking at him she’d tear it apart, obliterating the monster she saw before her. Twice he has tried to kill her and twice she’d escaped with her life. But what he did to her was unforgivable and nothing was going change that.

 

 “I understand that you might be-” Alejandro tried to apologise but Kate didn’t want to hear it.

 

 “Understand?” Kate scoffed. “The fuck do you understand? What you did to me was-” Her hands began to tremble as she remembered the torture she’d undergone, the endless pain and suffering that he caused. “You told me that I reminded you of someone special in your life. Is this how treated them?”

 

Alejandro clasped his hands together as he hunched in his seat. “I did what I had to.”

 

 “Bullshit! You had a choice!”

 

 “So did you!” he shouted as he jerked out of his seat

 

Kate cowered at his uproar. She’d never heard him shout, he was always delicate with her even when he forced her to sign her soul away.

 

Sitting back in his chair he said, “But none of that matters now.”

 

A look of confusion furrowed her brow.

 

 “You owe us your life.”

 

 “I don’t owe you anything,” Kate disagreed, shaking her head in refusal. “Because I didn’t say anything.”

 

 “Think about it, Kate,” Alejandro said as he paced across the room. “You’ve suffered with alcoholism for a few months now, even had complaints from your higher-ups because you’ve tried to carry out the law single-handedly. Plus, you’ve been fired and marked _‘unfit for duty’_ by your psychologist.” He approached her now, his footsteps heavy causing a shiver of fear to run down her spine. “You may think that you didn’t say anything because you don’t remember saying anything, we wouldn’t be in this situation if you did.”

 

Kate felt like there was a lump in her throat. What if he was right? It made sense, didn’t it? She could barely remember most of her drunk, careless adventures now that she’d thought about it, just the dreadful hangovers afterwards. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_ Maybe Reggie was right. She went looking for trouble and now trouble had found her.

 

Suddenly, the door groaned open and Matt Graver walked in joyfully, an unusual bounce in his step and his signature smug smile on his lips.

 

 “Oh thank God you’re alive, we thought we lost you there!” he feigned. “I would’ve brought flowers but then I would have to pretend that I care about you and I do but I don’t, you know. No hard feelings?”

 

If Kate had to hear this man speak on more time she swore she’d choke him in his sleep.

 

Seeing that Kate wasn’t so buoyant, Matt turned his attention to Alejandro. “Hey man, have you told her yet?”

 

 “Told me what?” Kate asked confused.

 

 “What happens next,” Matt explained before taking a piece of gum out of pocket and shoving it into his mouth.

 

Alejandro took a deep breath as if he didn’t want to be the one to tell her but he knew that there was no other way to go around it. “You’re joining our task force back to New Juarez.”

 

 “Fuck no!” Kate refused.

 

 “You don’t have a choice in the matter.”

 

Kate laughed at him. “You’ve tried to kill me twice and twice I’ve escaped Death’s hand.”

 

 “But Reggie won’t be so lucky,” Matt warned.

 

The knot in Kate’s stomach grew tighter, the sudden urge to throw up urged within her but she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

 

 “Please, don’t hurt him,” her voice was shallow.

 

The sound of Matt chomping on his gum grew louder as he approached the bed. “Well that all depends on you, doesn’t it, _Katie._ ” He held her hand tightly in his as he took out his phone and showed her the live footage of Reggie on his knees with a gun to his head. Blood plastered his face and she could see him shaking in terror just like that day when they raided the safehouse. “You have the power to decide the fate of your friend. So what’s it gonna be? Death or Life?”

 

This was her fault, her responsibility. If she didn’t talk he wouldn’t be in this situation. She had to take accountability for her actions. _Damnit Kate!_

 

As tears streamed from her face, Alejandro already knew what her answer was.

 

 “Okay,” she whispered, low but clear enough for them to hear.

 

 “Great!” Matt said clapping as he jumped to his feet. “You’ll be escorted to the private jet in a few hours.”

 

Leaving the room, his work done, an uncomfortable silence grew between Alejandro and Kate. She never thought she’d be in this predicament and he never thought he’d meet her again. But fate had decided that New Juarez was the slender thread that connected these two troubled souls together. Whether it would drive them apart or bring them closer together only time would tell but one thing was for sure, now that Kate knew the darker side of Alejandro she wasn’t going to trust him so easily.

 

Heading for the door, Alejandro took one glance at Kate before saying, “You should have taken my advice."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate finds out what her purpose is in their mission in New Juarez

You’d think people would have the decency to allow someone who's just died and miraculously come back to life, a while to rest before forcing them on a plane. But it seems that cold-blooded hitmen for the government don’t own a heart just a license to destroy it. So despite her wearniness, the moment the doctor told Matt that she was fit enough to walk, he forced her out of bed and escorted her to their car parked outside.

 

Arriving at the private airstrip brought back memories of a much simpler time, or at least that’s what she thought all those months ago. Boarding that plane for the first time, she was naive enough to believe that she was going to El Paso to get justice for those that the cartel had murdered. But now, she was smart enough to know that their form of _‘justice’_ was either a way of disguising Alejandro’s revenge or the USA’s true motives. Yet despite knowing this, she didn’t have a choice in whether or not she wanted to tag along, she owed them her life now and they were going to use it to their fullest potential.

 

 “Hungry?” Matt asked as they took their seats on the plane.

 

 “I’m not eating those peanuts again,” Kate complained before slouching into her seat, her eyes desperate to shut.

 

Matt laughed. “Yeah they taste like shit, but if you want to be reminiscent you know where to find them.”

 

But Kate didn’t respond, her weariness had gotten a hold of her and without warning she’d drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The sound of a loud clap next to her ears woke Kate immediately, causing her to jolt out of her seat in utter shock.  Matt, being the dickhead he was, decided that it would be funny to see her reaction if her sleep was interrupted, he was lucky that her body was still weak or else she would have kept her promise of strangling him in his sleep.

 

Whilst Matt was dying of laughter behind her, she noticed Alejandro smirk in the corner of her eye. It was an unusual reaction from him considering he was reserved and kept himself to himself. Maybe the beast was human after all.

 

 “I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life!” Matt cried, wiping away the tears from his eyes.

 

 “I swear to God I’m gonna kill him,” Kate cursed under her breath, exhausted.

 

 “I heard that!”

 

Kate rolled her eyes and ensued to fight the tiredness that was overwhelming her when she noticed the blanket wrapped over her. _I don’t remember putting this here._ _Someone else must have-_ Her eyes glared at Alejandro and in spite of there being no real evidence against him, she had a gut feeling that he was the one who covered her with the blanket. _That bastard! Did he think that I would forgive him this easily just because of a thoughtful gesture?_

 

Grabbing the blanket in her hand she threw it at him, though Alejandro being Alejandro was able to catch it despite not looking in her direction. He watched silently as she defiantly turned her back towards him and looked outside the window, an obvious message to leave her alone, whether he’d heed only time would tell.

 

Upon arriving at the landing zone in New Juarez, they exited the plane and jumped into a car that was waiting for them on the landing strip. Of course, Steve Forsing was the driver, he seemed to be inseparable when it came to US business with the cartels.

 

The journey to their military base was tedious. Matt and Steve were yapping away about the size of their dicks and comparing the amount of Mexicans they’ve killed in the last month like it was a competition. Whereas, Kate and Alejandro sat in silence, an awkward silence but a silence nonetheless.

 

 “So what’s your motive this time?”

 

Kate’s sudden utterance had caught Alejandro off-guard. “What?”

 

 “Why are you here?”

 

Fixing his jacket he looked outside the window. “Why is anyone.”

 

 “I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.”

 

Alejandro turned to face her, his eyes grim like his response, “To seek damnation.”

 

His words haunted Kate’s mind as they arrived at the military base. Damnation, is that what she was seeking? She sure as hell deserved it.

 

Entering the building, they were immediately led to a hall that was crowded with familiar military officers that had accompanied them on their previous mission in New Juarez. Matt went around greeting and reminiscing with each of them whereas Kate and Alejandro went to take a seat, they had no intention of making friends here.

 

When Matt had greeted everyone, he stood at the front of the hall and addressed them. “Y’all look old as fuck!” His insult was followed by a chorus of laughter.

 

 “Not as old as you, you ugly prick!” one officer shouted.

 

 Steve got up from his seat and stood next to Matt, putting a hand on his shoulder and pointed to a chair in the front row. “Yes I think it’s time our _elder_ as a seat, wouldn’t want those rusty legs getting tired now would we?”

 

 “Oh fuck you,” Matt cursed making his way to his seat, the hall bursting into laughter.

 

When Matt took his seat, Steve turned on the projector and a map of Mexico appeared on the screen. “Now for why we’re here. Despite our efforts a few months ago, the Medellin have struggled to stop rival gangs from growing and partaking in the drug trade, hence the reason why they’ve lost a lot of territory to them, especially to the Los Zetas cartel who control almost 11 states in Mexico.” Steve explained. “Our task is to kill their competition.”

 

 “Again!” one officer complained which was followed by a chorus of agreements.

 

 “Don’t worry, lads, we’re gonna make this one an op to remember,” Matt promised, rubbing his hands together in excitement. “I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

 

As Steve shut off the operator, concluding the briefing and the officers left the hall, Kate stood to address Matt.

 

 “What is my purpose in all this?”

 

 “We need an extra pair of hands” Matt said as he made his way for the door.

 

Grabbing his arm and forcefully pulling him back Kate demanded, “Don’t fucking lie to me!”

 

 “You’re a little feisty for someone who’s actions could impact her friend's life,” Matt warned.

 

 “Don’t bring Reggie into this!”

 

Matt stepped closer. “Oh darling, he already is. And I told you, you owe us your life therefore _I_ decided what to do with it and right now your only use is to be an extra pair of eyes on the road, got it.”

 

Kate’s silence told Matt everything he needed to know.

 

 “We convene tonight at 2100 hours, be ready.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking around the car, she noticed that she was the only one wearing a bulletproof vest. “Am I missing something here? Why am I the only one wearing a bulletproof vest?”

When it comes to time, the military doesn’t play around, Kate should have learned that the first time because now - she was late, a bad reintroduction to the team. Quickly, she ran from her barracks, grabbing her gun and bulletproof vest hastily as she made her way outside. A line of black cars greeted her, Matt waved her over from the one parked at the front and she made her way towards it as she put on her bulletproof vest.

 

 “You took your bloody time!” Matt complained as she got into the car, the watch on his wrist 5 minutes past 9.

 

 “I’m sorry,” Kate apologised. “I can’t seem to fight the need to sleep as of late.”

 

 “Yeah, well sleep in your own time,” he said before ordering Steve to drive.

 

Leading the pack, the other cars followed suit as they made their way out of the base and into the streets of New Juarez. Its familiarity made Kate reminiscent of their last venture there - a grim memory, she’d rather not think of it but it had been haunting her dreams ever since she left, calling her back into its cold embrace. 

 

She felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned to see Alejandro offering her a pill and a bottle of water.

 

 “Take it. It’ll keep you awake.”

 

Despite not wanting to accept his help, Kate didn’t want to be a further hindrance to the team regardless of the fact she was brought here against her own will. So she took the pill and chugged it down with the water he offered.Wiping away the water around her mouth she thanked him and he nodded silently in return.

 

Looking around the car, she noticed that she was the only one wearing a bulletproof vest. “Am I missing something here? Why am I the only one wearing a bulletproof vest?”

 

 “Because we don’t need them for what we’re doing,” Matt explained.

 

 “And I do?”

 

 “Yes, Kate, you do.”

 

 “Why?” she interrogated.

 

Matt huffed as he slouched into his seat. “Am I gonna have to repeat myself, Steve?”

 

 “I mean you could just keep her in the dark like before,” Steve laughed. 

 

 “But then she’ll start bitchin’” Matt moaned.

 

 “I’m right here, you know,” Kate stated.

 

Palming his face, Matt sighed annoyed before explaining the mission. “We’re going to start a war with the cartels and let them do our dirty work for us. The only way we can do that is by making them think that one of their rivals are attacking their territory.”

 

Kate noticed the masks in the middle seat, next to Alejandro. But there was only three.

 

 “Do I not get one?”

 

Matt peered behind him and noticed Kate looking at the masks. “We’ve got another job for you.”

* * *

 

Arriving a few blocks from one of the Los Zetas’s drug houses, the cover of night hiding their presence, they moved silently towards the derelict building, a front for what was really going on behind the scenes. Guards stood watch outside, their eyes scouring their surroundings but they were too blind to see the sniper rifle aimed at their heads, an imminent death from one of the Devil’s favourite demons. 

 

When Matt gave the signal, Alejandro pulled the trigger along with three other snipers that flanked him, impaling the men simultaneously with their bullets. With the front of the building unwatched, Matt led the rest of the team forward leaving the snipers on the rooftop to watch their six. Alejandro came with them and when they reached the entry parted with Kate, escorting her to her designated position. 

 

Kate could feel her hand tremble as she made her way to the greenhouse at the back of the building, the location of the Los Zetas’s cannabis supply. It wasn’t the fear of her objective, all she had to do was destory the greenhouse - it was the impact of her actions. A war, she would be guilty of putting innocent lives in danger because of her decision here today. Decision? She didn’t have a choice. But that was a lie, you always have a choice, the question is will she make the right one?

 

The sound of gunshot echoes from the other side of the building, followed by the familiar cries of death. It made Kate even more uneasy, Alejandro could see it but he gave her no solace, instead her pressed forward, mercilessly killing any of the cartel members that stood in his way, reminding Kate of his Devil’s side. 

 

Finally they arrived at the greenhouse and Alejandro ushered her in before making his way outside and watching for any cartel members that would try to stop Kate from doing her job. Taking the rucksack that Matt gave her of her shoulder, she unzipped the bag and looked palely at the C4 inside.  _ Why me? Why must I be the catalyst of destruction. _ But she didn’t have to be. She had a choice a difficult one. Destroy the greenhouse or run away. She was beginning to lean towards the latter when she remembered Reggie, Matt had him locked up somewhere and if she didn’t comply who knows what they’d do to him.  _ Shit! _

 

She was considering her options when Alejandro walked back in.

 

 “Have you done it?” he asked, she didn’t answer but the C4s in her bag told him all he needed to know. “Kate, prime the C4s now.” 

 

She shook her head in refusal. “No.” Her voice was soft as if she was on the brink of tears.

 

Alejandro put his hand in his pocket and she was sure that he was getting his gun but instead he took out a phone, dialed a number and put it to his ears. “Miguel, put a gun to Reggie’s head.”

 

Kate fell to her knees hearing him saying Reggie’s name, tears streaming from her eyes. This is what she feared and now if she didn’t do has he said, it was going to come true.

 

 “Alejandro, please don’t do this!”

 

Alejandro continued. “When I tell you, shoot him.”

 

 “Alejandro-” 

 

 “I’ll give you one last chance, Kate.  _ Prime the C4. _ ” he ordered harshly.

 

 “Why are you doing this?” she asked.

 

 “I told you,” he said as he approached her.  “I’m seeking damnation.”

 

Kate scoffed. “Must you take me down with you?”

 

Alejandro found himself wiping away her tears with his thumb, an ironic gesture for such a tense mood. Though just like before, Kate allowed him to touch her despite everything he’s done and probably will do in the future.

 

 “Just do it, Kate,” he said softly as he looked into her eyes, her fierce gaze slowly diminishing. 

 

 “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.”

 

Helping her to his feet, Alejandro gave her the bag of C4s. “I’ll be outside,” he said before making his way to the door.

 

Placing the C4s on each side of the glass walls, Kate activated them before leaving the greenhouse with Alejandro. When they made it outside, they met up with Matt and the others and made their way to the building where the snipers were positioned. As they stood on the rooftop, Matt looked at Kate and said, “If you would do the honours.”

 

Honours? How crude. This wasn’t an honour it was a curse. But she had no other choice, Reggie’s life was at stake.

 

Taking a deep breath she pressed the button and a series of explosives consumed the building until it was a pile of dust. Matt and the others cheered wildly at its fiery display but Alejandro and Kate just watched in silence, a reflective silence but a silence nonetheless.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate begins to doubt who she is and the reasoning behind the misson

If mirrors are meant to be a reflection of one’s self, why did Kate see someone different. She could hardly recognise herself as she stared back at the mirror, watching her imitation, a good one at that. Blood covered her face and her eyes were bloodshot, in her hand was a detonator, her finger teasingly hovering over the red button. Was this her true reflection or what she wanted to see? To be frank she believed it to be both, as of late she'd become more and more distant to who she was before all this, to who she was before her first venture in New Juarez. Now she was almost a shell of her former self, waiting for something to set her free. 

 

 “If your looking for answers, mirrors aren’t the place you should be looking for them.”

 

Kate didn’t need to turn around to know who was at the door, she’d become used to him invading her apartment now, it had no longer become a surprise.

 

He continued. “Mirrors tell us what we look like, not who we are.” 

 

Washing her hands in the basin, she looked at him in the mirror. “Then who do you see when you look in the mirror?”

 

Alejandro looked at her then diverted his attention to her hands which she was washing vigorously under the hot water, steam rising from the sink. She didn't seem to be bothered by the heat, it was as if she'd become numb to the pain. 

 

 “What are you doing?” he asked, concerned.

 

 “The blood - it won’t come off.”

 

Alejandro furrowed his brow as he approached her. There was no blood in the basin, just the crystalline water brimming to the edge. “Kate, there’s no blood on your hands.”

 

 “Don’t lie to me.”

 

 “Kate-”

 

 “Don’t lie to me!” she shouted as the basin overflowed, the hot water bursting out of to the bathroom floor. 

 

Hastily, Alejandro turned off the tap and grabbed her hands, which felt like fire against his palms and held them in his. Tears poured from her eyes as fell to her knees, Alejandro joining her, the water enclosing them.

 

 “I’m so tired, Alejandro,” she confessed, wearily. “Tired of life, tired of the lies - tired of you acting like you care when in reality your just doing your job. Did Matt tell you to come in here? To ‘check on me’?” She pulled her hands out of his. “I don’t need your ‘pity’ or your ‘concern’!”

 

 “I came in here of my own accord,” Alejandro admitted. “You haven’t slept in days-”

 

Kate pushed him back, propelling him against the wall. “And whose fault is that, huh?” She stood to her feet, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, her trousers soaked. “What we did yesterday - what you  _ forced _ me to do was inhumane!”

 

She expected him to fight back, to threaten her for attacking him. But to her surprise, he winced in pain. She’d never seen him this vulnerable, part of her felt remorseful but the other didn’t care. 

 

 “What you did was necessary for our objective.” he groaned.

 

 “And what’s that?”

 

 “Didn’t you listen in the briefing?” he asked.

 

Kate scoffed at him. “There’s something else going on here, something Matt and the others don’t want me to know.”

 

She noticed him become hesitant and Alejandro was never hesitant. He’d mastered the art of the poker face, nothing could get him to reveal anything to anyone, maybe that’s why Matt told him all his secrets. Yet, in this moment, he told her something that she was beginning to suspect for a while. He was hiding something.

 

 “You remind me of her, my wife.” he said, diverting the topic. “Persistent and determined to achieve anything that she set her mind to. That’s what made her a good police officer but also a bad one. She was like you, naive and unwilling to see that sometimes the bad need to exist to keep the world from falling into chaos. So when she built a case against Fausto Alarcon, unbeknownst to her she called Death to our doorstep and now she’s buried in a graveyard, having achieved so much but left nothing behind - except me and a lust for vengeance.” 

 

Gathering his strength, he pulled himself to his feet. “Ask me one question and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

 

Kate didn’t expect him to be so open, to reveal anything. But what was stopping him from lying to her, from putting her off the scent? As she thought of a question, she decided that whatever he said, she’d take with a grain of salt.

 

 “I didn’t have to wear the bulletproof vest yesterday, did I?”

 

Alejandro bowed and smiled to himself before heading towards the door.

 

 “I thought you said you’d answer my question!” Kate moaned.

“I just did.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Anyone that knows my work knows that I’m very bad when it comes to finishing series but I'm going to try and finish this because I ship these two so much!


End file.
